I'm hurt

Yah, I know what you're thinking. 

"Oh no Kipp!  You're hurt?  What happened?  Did you fall down while snowboarding again?  Did you try to hurdle a bush like you were 16 again like Eddy?  Did you pull a muscle moving furniture?" 

No.  No.  No.  I am not physically hurt.  I am emotionally hurt.  It's taken me about 3 weeks to come all of the way through my stages of grief, and I'm hurting.  I feel like a friend of mine has died, but really she's very much alive.  She's just dead to me. 

I should preface this story with this: Two times over the course of the past 3 years, my co-worker has stopped talking to me.  I never know why or how this happens, but she does it.  She up and ignores me one day and after a lot of begging and pleading and cards, she starts talking to me again.  But she never tells me why she stopped talking to me, never. 

So here it is, March 2010, and one day she stops talking to me.  This time she has informed my boss and other co-workers that she isn't speaking to me.  She doesn't say why, she doesn't say when, but she says I've offended her in some way and she's not speaking to me. 

This is some one that I consider a friend, possibly a long term one.  She's been to my home.  We've shared meals.  We went on a road trip to Napa together.  I attended her son's first birthday party. 

It's not like we just worked together. 

So here we are, almost 4 weeks since she decided we are no longer friends.  My birthday came.  She didn't even wish me a happy birthday.  I sneeze, and even if she's 4 feet away from me she won't say "God bless you."  I come in every morning and say "Good morning!" and all I get is a weak "hello" or a sorry excuse for a greeting. 

When other people pass by our desks, her face lights up with joy and she says their names with such enthusiasm that it makes me nauseated.  She talks on the phone loudly to all of her other apparent friends and family throughout the day, and even though I don't always understand the conversation I am jealous.  They could be talking about bananas or throwing away garbage, but they are talking. 

I am a person that values my friendships tremendously.  I have that horrible fault that says "once a friend, always a friend."  Friends can hurt me, break me, make me cry and some how I always forgive them.  I would rather you punch me in the face instead of seeing my friend suffer. 

But with this said, I think I have to let this one go.  No more apologizing when I don't know what I did wrong.  No more defending her when people at work are angry with her.  No more asking her how she's feeling or telling her to have a good weekend as she leaves the lab on Friday afternoons.  I wave the white flag.  I surrender.  We are now strangers. 

And thank you to all of the truly great friends that I have left.  The ones that have heard me tell this story over the past few weeks and ask "WHY DO YOU CARE?" or say sarcastic things like Shannon did, "Wait, Kipp, you have friends besides me?  How dare you!  I don't think I can handle that!  I'm not speaking to you anymore!  " 

But most of all, to Mike for telling me not to care the first time she stopped talking to me.  And the second time.  And for listening to me every couple of days when a wave of sadness rolls over me and I tell him, "I miss my friend."  He politely reminds me that she was never a friend, and to get over it. 

To update, or not to update?

Sorry I'm falling behind on the updates, but the truth is that I cannot process any pictures at the moment and what good is a blog update without any pictures? 

So here's a teaser. 

• Our toilets all work and work well thanks to Mike. 
• Our doors are all painted and hung thanks to Cierra and Mike. 
• The doors all have new and pretty door knobs.  (Even the front door, which I wasn't planning on but Mike surprised me with!)
• Our kitchen has almost all of its cabinet doors courtesy of the Phelan family. 
• 3 out of 4 sinks in the house have been replaced. 
• 2 out of the 3 countertops have been replaced. 
• All of our clothes are in the closet or our perfect "new" chest of drawers courtesy of the Choi family. 
• I layed tile in the laundry "room."  (Great place to start by the way, no one will ever see my little "oopses.")
• Our microwave is almost ready to be hung over the range.  (Which is kind of funny because I'm really used to cooking without a microwave right now!)
• I cook almost every night.  That's right folks.  I'm cooking.  Pot roast.  Chicken parmisian.  Spaghetti and meat sauce.  (More than 3 steps is cooking, and I complete more than 3 steps just about every night now!) 

So I guess that's it for now.  I promise to post pictures once I get Photoshop up and running again.  But until then, just flip through the old posts! 

Love you all! 

Photo of the Day

Here he is. 

The apple of her eye. 

The pep in her step. 

The change at the bottom of her purse. 

Okay, maybe not that last one. 

Here are the Lee's.  Devin and Rose.  And boy are they fun to photograph.  He's active.  She's funny.  They're both gorgeous.  Man oh man.  May I always be blessed with friends and God children and wonderful as they are. 

Photographed April 3, 2010 at Central Park in Rancho Cucamonga

For those of you that care, I've started a blog directly related to my growing obsession with photography. 

Fairy Godmother Photography

Enjoy!  Have a blessed day! 

Photo of the Day

Devin 121 Learning, originally uploaded by kippyskippy.

Devin at Central Park in Rancho Cucamonga.

His wonderful mother, Rose, is teaching him how to drive a stick shift. Sure, you might think that 9 months old is a little young. However, consider for just a second that he started walking at 7 months old and he's already escaping from his crib.

April 3, 2010

Today's Breakdown is Brought to You by...

Today's breakdown is brought to you by the letter "M" and the letter "E" and also by the number "9." 

Yes, those are the words echoing through my head as I get ready to head to sleep tonight.  It finally happened.  After about four straight weeks of remodeling and only nine days of living in our new home, I snapped.  As Mike and I were hanging a teeny tiny bathroom cabinet door, I freaked out.  I hung the door.  I grabbed my keys.  I went for a walk. 

By the way, going for a walk inside of a gated community is kind of like reminding yourself that you're a rat in a cage.  I walked to the south wall.  Then I went to the east wall.  Finally I headed all the way to the northwest corner and found our front door.  I walked in the front door and stood in the kitchen.  Mike came in the back door. 

"Where did you go?"  He asked. 

"For a walk." 

"Why?" 

Kipp, come one.  Why did you go for a walk?  You are acting like a lunatic.  These past few weeks you've been behaving like some medieval twit, an ignoramus, you're not yourself.  Finally I answered him. 

"Because I didn't want to be here." 

And with that, I began tidying up and grabbing the most miniscule specks of dirt off of the carpet and floor.  He picked up on that right away.  It was a classic case of "don't look me in the eye."  With one swoop, Mike had grabbed me and started hugging me.  I was a waterworks.  I kept thinking of the character on the old show Third Rock from the Sun when the female alien discovers her ability to cry.  She comes into the room one day and when the rest of the aliens see her crying and ask what's wrong with her, she screams out "I'M LEAKING!" 

I, my friends, began leaking. 

A few minutes later and after the demolition of a few tissues, I had stopped leaking.  I had down graded my outburst from a Stage V tear attack to a Stage II mood swing.  We hung a few doors, moved two dressers, and headed off to Lowe's. 

So for anyone that knows Mike or has met him, please know that this man is a saint.  After almost four years of dating and nine days of living together, he hasn't killed me and/or run screaming away from me and my family.  God bless Mike.  God help him. 

But hey, at least I admit when I'm a lunatic.  Happy Easter. 

Photo of the Day

Marine Walking, originally uploaded by kippyskippy.

Shot January 15, 2010
Marine Corp Graduation
San Diego CA

My cousin recently graduated from basic training and my family & I were invited to the ceremony. This was a shot from his graduation (no, it's not him) but I really liked making it look like a really old shot!

By the way if you're ever invited to a USMC graduation ceremony, GO! Grab your camera. Get their early. Start taking pictures. It was the most fun I've had in a long time. Oh, and bring a long lens.

Happy Friday!

Photo of the Day

02 18 10_0020 PW's B&W, originally uploaded by kippyskippy.

Here's a little Devin for your day!

Taken February 18, 2010 on the day he walked for the first time. He's sucking on the lens cap to my Nikon (yes, I gave it to him) and I'm sure his loving mother, Rose, is watching him as she sits to the right of the photograph.