Everything I need to know, I learned from the women in my family...

• I've learned that you're never to young or too old to go to school. 
• I've learned that pie is a highly nutritious and acceptable breakfast food. 
• I've learned that the men in your life need to be your best friend. 
• I've learned that if no one buys you jewelry, ask them for it. 
• I've learned that if you ask someone for jewelry and you don't get it, go buy it for yourself. 
• I've learned that a good hairstylist is more important than a good therapist. 
• I've learned it's okay to be high maintenance, as long as you are your own mechanic. 
• I've learned that you must always drink a Bud Light with Mexican food. 
• I've learned that cold pizza is also a nutritious breakfast food. 
• I've learned that smoking can be more hazardous to your blind dates than your health.  (Remind me to tell that story one day!) 
• I've learned that playing card, dice, board, or domino games with your family can be hazardous to your health. 
• I've learned that a bubble bath can solve almost anything. 
• I've learned that if you enter into a battle of wits, you had better make sure you're armed. 
• I've learned that if you figure out that you're the witless one, you should just keep throwing punches until everyone forgets what you were arguing about. 
• I've learned that you can never get in trouble by telling the truth. 
• I've learned that I'm not a good liar. 
• I've learned that you are what you pretend to be. 
• I've learned that if you pretend to be a stupid slut, eventually you will be one. 
• I've learned that if the bubble bath didn't solve your problems, you should try eating a cookie.  It usually works. 
• I have learned that road trips bring you closer together, no matter what age you are. 
• I have learned that taking pride in your appearance will help you live a long and happy life. 
• I have learned that you never know when or where you're going to meet your soul mate, so stop trying. 
• I have learned that nothing in life is more important than your sister, daughter, aunt, or cousin. 

What have you learned?